Ridiculous peoples, tonight

Tell me about it. 


This is what happened just now. My aunt and i went to SKH, she wanted to buy some vegetables so we stop by on the way to work.


My Shampoo kan abis sudah, so i asked her " auntie, can we buy some shampoo? " with a gentle tone.
Who knew that she would fire up her own hair and start bursting flame out of her mouth. 
" what? it's not even a month yet, you know it's expensive? " - well, FYI- i got thick and long hair anyway, so i just kept quiet standing at a side, while she look for vegetable around but her mouth hadn't finish cursing and scolding. She made a round, come back to where i stand pointed at me and keep scolding and made another turn. pffft*
And she scolded all the way to work, didn't even took a break to breath. 
Just don't understand why she had to talk in such a way like it's a big deal or so that she bought 1 shampoo for me last month. She could just replied she don't want to buy, as simple as that but instead she....
nah` useless, dad won't even bother to buy anything for me, not even shampoo. Mom ? sorry, she got her own problem to solve. 


I took a deep breath and keep asking myself to be patient. So many times, i almost swear and join her species to have a war with her. And that totally crashed my mood, but i went up and sat down quiet myself down but. sighs *
How could she be so ridiculous. Or maybe i was the problem as well.


Tonight ! is really a Big Night, well i always assumed it that way when ever i'm really doing something on my own. So yeaa, it is..


Oh, i do have some problems * raising up my hand *
ermm. but i would definitely pray and hope everything will go well later. :) esp the conversation with the team.
will announce the result tomorrow as well.


Just so you forget, after tomorrow i'm going to Miri- KL then KL - Tianjin.
It's just pretty uncomfortable that dad didn't cared much about me. Like sighs* forget it.


Ohh ermm. leaving Brunei definitely misses my awesome friends here. :(
Why i don't feel awesome going there? Maybe i'm clinging to too many things here.
Just pray that i'll let go, and go with an empty heart with much smile to fill. :D


Tonight tonight tonight.
Hope it ain awkward for me, Hope everything turns out to be well. Don't lose my guard. :D


I've been thinking about one particular guy. 
Well, he could definitely i mean i trust him and it would be cool to have him in the team as well.
Well, i'll let tonight discussion decided my new decision. :)

Hello reader.

Not a very peaceful morning but i managed to keep my mouth shut to avoid unnessary conversation that may cause conflits and result an unpleasant morning.

Result-
i was the one over thinking because rui had a great night last night with two new friends to keep. Fiona yanshiang's cousin who just came back from CANADA, i knowright. And Sally a.k.a jackfruit. Both are wonderful. And indeed a great night. We all went to play badminton and had a drink after that with the others.

Yea, i did had some problems. Esp when people bring up the topic that i should be heading back to school. I met this lady yesterday and no doubt she tried to convince me to go back to school. I appreciate her kindness and yes i got second thought.

But a zillion thanks to yanshiang as she display her great support for me. Thats just what i needed. Indeed, God is good.

Actually, i notice something really bad about me. I had never expect that i had such character, actually its new. I always look away esp to the guy i had an eye on. Who am i?- ted mosby season 1?

Haha. Either way, very greatful towards yanshiang. Life has been prettty challenging. Sometime we just need some words of encouragement and that would be sufficient to keep us going.

Canada! Haha.

Dear readers.

Today, you are advice to be cautious as i'm furiously annoyed. God grace ! My morning was greeted by a problematic woman. Indeed, the challenge has arrived. A challenge to test my patience and train me to handle these impossible of the impossible.my weakness has always been my family.

But my morning didnt just stop there. Due to her own unsolved problem, she blow her anger to me. Sigh what a morning. Dislike people who only listen to themselve and always assume themself right. Just like my beloved dad and the rest of the siblings. -__-

How i wish i could just walk away, come on. Its not like im despo to work for you and to have this job. What i dislike most are people above you actually said ' i pay you not want you do this do that ' seriously, yes dissaticfation complain here. And hold my breath' think here is enough.

I have like 126 days till rui independance day! Better sing a long the ruitional anthem ! Cause that is when rui reborn and take a breath of freedom for the very first time in her 18year life- over.

Hey, i recognize the unnessary of the work i accomplish above but thats expression. And if they are failed to be express, it may result stress and heart problem as well as arising of a new issue. Moreover it may end up expressing directly to the subject which clearly have sufficient reason that it's not actually a bad thing.

Iknowright. I dont realy get it either. Anyway,yanshiang texted- hey, i dont deny the fact that people do change. But yea, she texted with detail and just that. No additional expression which made me felt rather weird and strange. But yea. Now lets just assume that i over think about this but i will announce the result tomorrow peace.

And no! I'm really tired. Definitely would choose a break from all of these routine. Tomorrow having lunch with gugu, cool actually. We will be talking more ideas and he will definitely be a great help for me. Thank God for this angel sent.

Headache, assuming migrant. If dont feel well quit tonight activity and watch tv. Hehehe.paaans.

Tired much. Love you all,
until next time.
Xoxo-r

Total Mood Swing.

Gosh, never really expect that i would felt this way today. Not in my greatest mood at the moment, i slept late last night due to insomnia and moreover i overslept and missed out not going to the dental clinic with my brothers.
Went to work, then sighs* this auntie of mine, she just can't take a deep breath and relax and all she goes is nagging about something she clearly do not understand how it works. And she'd even said " i hire you, not for you to do your own work " i'm like speechless. Fire raging within, manage to extinguish it but ....


And that probably was the reason i'm so moody now. And think about the tons of work i had to manage, i never really expect this one coming. Not that i really mind about it, i mean i do enjoys every work given just that perhaps i just didn't manage each of it well. despite my busy night activities.


I'll tell you what i need to rush about. This Friday, i got this huge thing coming out with most elders and i'm like the only baby there doing my baby talk. Well, i probably need a speech which i have not prepare yet. I really need a speech where ever i go because i would go blank if i didn't.


August is still fine, plan to sungkai with most of my friends on Aug.
Syasa, via and hazman probably. :) then also with The dancers group, don't forget the cool dudes, fyzan,pesal,fathur,lil'Z, and etc. So step up 3 please wait for me to come back.


September, going to Manila and some part of China as well from 12th-21th Sept. Coming back and i need to rush to prepare my awesome sis's bday surprise.
So i need to make sure everything before 11th. ( bare in mind )
And when i come back,


October, yea i still have OCT to worry about. Gosh, it's killing me.
One of my brother's bday is on October, so it's actually a surprise as well and i need to find and talk to someone to help me put everything up. and After His bday i'm rushing myself Down to Kuala Lumpur for my other sister's bday there. see how everything actually connects? Coming back on Oct 17. and NO DOUBTS i got tons of people to catch up and paper work to do.


November, my birthday let's not get too happy about that part first. So, getting my car license and catching up & finding information as well. And More on December !! OMG ! Kill me NOT.


I need to focus on one part? Well, easy to say but think about Dance, Org, Seeker, Birthday. :D Seriously, just keep me alive. (: love you much.


I pray that i could manage everything well without feeling so tired and restless as well.
Take it step by Step. Amen ! 

New things to learn, i'm not a good kid

So last post was about going back to school.


I think i'm not an angel now because one of my college is having flu.  And she is not going around looking for document as i'm here sitting blogging for you guys while listening to a Spanish song. :D really a mood lifter <3
I loved French, Spanish and etc. :D sounds awesome by the way.


So last few days, i'm pretty pumped up as usual. I'm always motivated with the things i decided to do. And yes, i was fully charged for both Group. But the unexpected new routine installed in my weeks had caused me to be restless. Not that i really mind, i do enjoy the every different activities it provides but i guess i'm just unable to fully cope up with so much activities and despite my works at noon. I know you worked too, but yeaa. this little brat just can't get herself hyper if she don't have her energy so, excused her. :D


I'm not a good girl, (: i may look delightful and fulled with smile. But inside i'm this bad bad naughty girl.
To be honest, i'm having hard times with both my parents. I can't specify which is better because both are almost equal. Tired much, so yeaa. i'm having hard times in dealing both and trying to get a good way to talk to both. Hope no more ugly argument ! And sighs * i got few things i need to practice, which is quite challenging for me.


1st - No verbal hate 
This one is easy, despite my well control of No-swearing to anyone. But i do often, depreciate someone's value not in a total judgement way of course just sometimes, their action cause people to actually say it. But yeaa. learning not to depreciate a person's value. I don't usually does that la.. don't be afraid.


2nd- Silent hate.
This one should be listed the last because this would be the hardest for every human nature ever alive. I tried to practice this but my mind and heart does not give me any option to think as it just think when it wishes to. So, yeaaa. 


Just when i got home last night with new lesson to learn, trying to avoid both of verbal hate and silent hate. Less than 30 minutes, i just did one. My dad, -____-" again, talking, blaming, pushing responsibility to me and talked like it's what i should do and not him. Seriously, i'm couldn't handle that feeling he used to gives me like 9 years ago. How could i bear to not be angry within me? :C


Daddy Daddy. Just a tittle in the family, not the ROLE.
Sadly, i do hope that things will go well in this family but even it's heading to the worst. bring it on. :D


3rd- Smile eventho it hurts ! ( Jokes ) Learn not to Pre-judge and Judge at the same time.
So, learn not to pre-judge and when i do. Just think another way round and judge them to be a friendly, lovely kinded person. Practice it and you'll get used to judge someone by positive-ly. :)
awesome ! :D


Again, Gosh` totally in some mood for love. :D
First, it was him and now this? OMG` complaining to myself that " didn't i get the authority to choose who i like? " Please don't let me fall into guy random-ly okay? because it's not Fun and you just did that again. -____-"
Totally 

going back to school ?

Dude, i'm like what with that? what's with you?
Am i the one blinded by what i wanted to do with what i should do ?


My aunt told me, she wanted me to get back to school. she want's me to university.
I said, i don't even know what subject i wanted to take. She said it's ok, just go back and ...


Sighs* i felt like as if i'm a spoiled messed up kid whom's so hard headed that i wouldn't want to listen to any advice given and just go along for what i think i should do. Definitely, elders older and etc would say, think that i should listen to elderly advices because the salt they eat is more than the rice i intake, which also mean they know more than i do and etc etc.


But that doesn't mean every advice given would be the best way for me. We all grow in different way, most people went to college & university but maybe God blesses me financially with a different way. There's always a reason for everything, i wasn't brought up in a lucky family like you guys do. Not only financially, even this messed up family that i grew up at. That's not even a place to raise young kids, they would disordered a young child Innocent growing stage. And so, i would definitely say, if one of my parent's didn't managed to leave this family. you would totally see me in university blogging this post & as if my mom were to be more knowledgeable to keep my education doing well, and that my father would be more understanding and were able to take care of this young girl with guidance and love. I guarantee that, i wouldn't even had all this idea,thought and perspectives.


Seriously? Don't give me the whole " because your born in such families, that's why you need to work harder " speech. Seriously, not to be rude but that's what we usually see in movies. Poor kids striving hard for success to get a good family. 


Let's just say, Human weren't born to do all these. No phrases from any wise men says that we had to study real hard, go to university to have a good future. Not even the word " university, college" existed in the phrases of the wise. 


I want to be confident, and i want to say - See how will i grow, and see how God will bless my life wonderfully. Amen ! 


Thanks for all the concern. 

a friend that is & losing them

Hey`

Well, the days have been awesome as the past two weeks, a sister of mine has been really amazing. Last week, i was asked to joined badminton with her and the next day we went to a thanksgiving dinner with other Christian people. She'd even made pizza and sent it personally to me. This week, well yesterday i mean the usual she brought me a long to play badminton with her. I did assume that tonight, anyhow she might would want to bring me to the fellowship study but ... i'm just not confident that would be happening. 

When someone's been great to you, sometimes i do wonders why and what makes them attached to me cause i definitely do not have anything to offer. I used to have a fear to get close with anyone because it would be a habit and things go bad when they doesn't treat you like they used to. 

Again, i forgot to do something i always wanted to do.

Unfortunately i passed by a blog and read a hearted confession. And they were right, i didn't noticed it. I hope in anyway i can do something to ease someone's mood killer in life.

How does friends really get a long together well in a very long time? i know it's normal to have conflicts and argument at times but sometime, i would just feel as if i'm far away from them. We do loves each other tho, so despite all the negative feelings & thoughts i'd rather choose positive. (:

I loved to choose to ignore the fact that i do care. Actually no, it's a lie.

I care a lot of things and i'm having a hard time to hide how much i do. Thing just happens and sometime you just wanted someone to be there and listen to all the scar in your heart & it's so not nice when you realize that they're not paying attention to your hearted confession as if your problem didn't even matter to them. But when they needed you the most, your always the one with the Free shoulder to offer.

But i'm learning to ignore what i care, so i wouldn't be so pathetic to all the things that i actually cares.

YanShiang, Bored,Karacoma,The Collaboration

RainForm Droughts.

let me see what i have to say here. Nothing much tho. But okay, atleast i need to bring some thing up right ?

Ohh yea` i'm so having hard times writing the member's guide for the organization. Just so you know. I mean i'm not sure like what should i really write about and stuff like that. Although i already got some written but i'm always not really absolutely satisfy with my works. But thank God that Meha will be helping me out, and Marilyn will be the one who correct all the grammar error in my paper. yikes *

They've been really great. I always says that because i'm so glad to have known them i mean if it weren't for them i think i would still be having some problem. But it felt as if i still have some problems, actually i'm just worried about do they understand how things are going to work, Just in case.

And on the other hand this guy, he wanted to have lunch together which is very nice of course. Guess i would try to go through the Guides with him see how he thinks first. 

I really really think i need to get back to work. I mean it's been like a few days away that i didn't really get my head into works. I did some articles for the church already, still of course not very satisfy but yet same intention is hoping they understand and have a different perspective. If not, everything would just be in vain.

And err, i think Yanshiang is getting cooler. She actually brought food for me twice. one is with Auntie( her mom ) then yesterday was Pizza, honey garlic actually. Which was great and awesome, we had a nice conversation in her car about some unsolve issue and concern over some things. Hope we could actually work things out together and with those whose interested to help out as well.

I thought July will actually passed very fast but it's just the 3rd day of July today. But days has been well packed with activities, mostly at night only but nooon i'm here working vainly. It's really boring to do the things your not really interested, that's why kids i advise you to live with your dream and do the things you like and enjoy. If you don't enjoy your work, hell are you going to enjoy your life? ( am just saying )

Oh yeaa, remember karacoma i mentioned at few posts away ? I heard, ( found out ) that they're actually the only band presenting brunei At Redtix, competing against 9 countries which actually includes Malaysia, Indonesia, Philippines, Vietnam & Thailand. Sounds kinda huge right ? I mean Brunei. Lols.

Still Goodluck Ofcourse to the Brunei Band.

Seriously, you may say my satellite is rosak or etc. But i haven or never really heard the KARACOMA band if it wasn't for Pelangi Fm. I guess, things around Brunei are just not very well known although your pretty goood in some ways. So i'm just wondering any ways that People can actually know What's going on IN Brunei, not referring to the Newspaper, how about facebook ? Well, only if you knew the page or etc. Anyway forget it.

Just founded this page not long a go. " the collaboration " so the description says "A group of aspiring photographers, each of a different background; collaborating together, with a hope to showcase inspiring photography projects." Hey, that hope ? Not even a Problem alright, Certainly your dream will come true. Great, now i have a New Idea. -___- Memang tak salah info ne. 

Do you know? That recently you could easily found photography groups in Brunei ? It's like Photography is getting more famous and people actually liked it. Well who doesn't cause i loved it. Still waiting for D5000 * majal* haha.

Oh yeaa, i remembered reading a post where someone actually commented that bruneian are having more artist, singers etc. And he/she asked that would they be entertainer even when they reached age 40 ? but it's cool and great to see people actually living by their dreams. Why can't we do Big in Brunei ? LOLs. knock knock * anyone want to do something about it ? :D 

hey,i'm bored so imma crap more two days later cause i'm not going to be here tomorrow. It's sunday give me a break. HAHA` just joking. Anyways, yeaaaa.  byebyes.

takecare and do stay alive till i return. (;

have a blessed day ofcourse,

And God does Blesses Us all. 

More articles coming, old band i miss

Hello random-ers,

i woke up early in the morning just to find out that there's a Vid from someone's facebook profile and i listen to the song he sang. he's really talented, i miss that old band. I seriously do, if there's another chance i would really love to invite them to perform again.

But they are some story between line, haha` not that i really cared. Just i really do.

Anyway, would love to say my prayers. I really really do hope, everything will be great and then i would love to send great opportunities to them. (;

Working out on few more new articles.

Notice that i got something coming up next two week.

So, and this article i promised to give on Sunday.

Need to chaos for the mean time, takecare everyone. (;

Have a Blessed Day.

A great mother, teenage issue

Last night, i met this mother whom cared for her son so much that she asked every little detail about the travel because his son is going to London soon for some study course. And she's quite old and his son is around 20+. I'm surprise by how much a mother would care for their children, i guess i forgot what parents are suppose to do and the responsibilities.


I'm just really surprise again, she saved up sums of college money for her children. I didn't see that coming from my parents. Well, She just gave me another perspective view about certain things.


Seems like i was actually wrong about what i always had in mind. About teenage shouldn't be a robot of the book but instead do what they like as in enjoy the so called Life. Now that i see, it's actually my own problem since i wasn't well guide by my parents. My nature would be a little wild unlike others who are so cautious about everything and even assume themselves would be useless without a certified qualification. One of my friend actually said " no result no future " am like whaaat?


I think it would be a long long way to go if i were to talk about the important of education and life. But yeaa. i would still love to talk about it but not argue with it. Because i could not able to talk things through Hard headed people who only think from one point of view. Like my *** for instant. HAHA` so bad of me. ( check the page for this article )


I actually copied and paste my last post about thought for teenage to Copycat.
I thought it would be cool that i would be able to reach more teenagers regarding this issue so people can actually think about it and think about the life they wanted to have.
But he/she just said that they would post up on fb for everyone to read.
Thanks a lot.
Again, i sense that this issue is very sensitive. Not much people would agree with the things i've said. ESP Parents` eyes on you. 


Got more paper to do. :D until next time.
(: all the blessings.